Notes on Self-Improvement
Here’s why you’re not moving forward in life
You have to start embracing change and do something about it.
I have reached a point in my life where I know it’s better to stay exactly where I am because it’s stable. I know that I am being called by my conscience to start working for myself and become an entrepreneur, but I almost always shut that voice down because I got so used to comfort.
I got used to staying because that’s familiar ground.
You know what happened?
Staying made me do the same mistakes over and over again. I kept jumping from one job to the another, trying to find the career that’s right for me, trying to find the right work arrangement that boosts my productivity, and trying to fit in the right working environment (which I figured, I’ll never find in an office setup).
Then one day, I shut my eyes and printed that resignation letter. Next thing I know, I was already jotting down ideas for my business venture.
I never felt so good about making the right decision for the first time in my life.
Being scared of what’s out there is perfectly normal especially when you’re going outside of your comfort zone. In fact, being afraid is what makes us human, and overcoming that fear is what will make you resilient.
It’s easier said than done, right? It’s so much easier to say that we’ll overcome our fears and take the leap of faith. In fact, when people talk to us about our plans, we escape the conversation by saying things like:
“I’ll just jump right through it.”
“I’ll wing it.”
“I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”
But when will you ever “get there” if you’re not inching forward?
The better question is, what are you so afraid of that you’re not moving forward?
1. You don’t know what you want.
Part of not moving forward is not knowing exactly what you want to do. I can’t blame you. Social media opens your eyes to a lot of possibilities that you can’t figure out what you want to do and where you want to be anymore.
You think you’re already doing great with what you’re responsible for right now. And I don’t doubt that. It took you years of experience to perfect what you’re doing, whether it be a skill or a job.
But if your heart tells you to start doing something else, why not try your knack at it? If you have a few hours to spare to learn something you’ve been inching to try for a really long time, why not do it?
In case you hit a hard wall and still can’t figure out what you really want, try to make a list of things you’re aspiring to do and match it with your skills. This one worked for me because I was able to use my writing skills and earn using it. Plus, I was able to use that same skill to build my business’ brand.
It won’t hurt to try. But imagine how much it will benefit you if you won’t hesitate to take a shot.
2. You got used to the way things are.
That’s the reason why it’s called a comfort zone. Comfort zones are your safe zones, the aspects in your life that no longer challenge you.
When you got used to the way things are, you will instinctively think that there’s no room for improvement. You do the same things over and over again, you see and talk to the same people, you don’t leave town… you simply don’t find any reason to step out and grow.
The danger here is that, you will let your life pass you by without even trying to be someone you aspire to become. Everything around you will change eventually, and while it’s safe to just watch from the sidelines, you will only get left behind.
In the book Paper Towns, John Green wrote:
“It is so hard to leave — until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world.”
If you suddenly felt stuck, don’t you think it’s the perfect time to explore outside your comfort zone and do something different? I bet there’s a million things running in your head right now, things that you want to do but you’re so afraid to try. If you have an existing bucket list, good! You can start from that, one day at a time.
You don’t have to be in a rush to try new things. Take time to figure out what you really want to do and where you want to be, and plan how you’re going to take action.
3. You’re not ready for the changes, and you’re not doing anything about it either.
The truth is, no one is. And no one will ever be.
Perhaps you’re overwhelmed with everything that’s going on in your life that you can’t find the time to prepare for what’s coming. Maybe the thought of transitioning from your life today to the one you’ll have in the future gives you too much pressure. Maybe you have to prioritize other things first before giving yourself a chance for change.
But have you ever taken babysteps to embrace change? Have you ever considered embracing the transitions and commit to doing it one step at a time?
No one will ever be ready for what’s coming; that’s why it’s called an adventure. In order to reap the rewards in the future, you must first enjoy the process. Make mistakes so you will learn. When you’re lucky, you’ll meet like-minded friends too.
You will never know if your destination is really meant for you, but there’s only one way to be sure. Just get into it, learn along the way and don’t forget to have fun.
4. You’re scared of what people will think.
Human beings need other people in order to survive. But if everything you do will be based on what people want, you won’t actually live for yourself. You’ll be living a life based on other people’s terms.
You can’t let your fear of rejection keep you from moving forward in life. You have so much potential to show the world.
Let me ask you: how often do you muzzle yourself because you’re afraid that, if you make drastic changes in your life, your family or friends will not accept you? How many times do you convince yourself to like what others want for you? How many times do you cry yourself to sleep whenever you disappoint someone because you try to break from the norm?
It’s tough to go against what people want, but remember this: if it’s for your growth and well-being, never hesitate to do it. You know yourself better, and you should know what’s best for you.
Be your most authentic self wherever you go, and I promise you: you will go places. You will earn people’s trust and respect.
Don’t you think it’s much more fulfilling to be loved and accepted for who you truly are, instead of trying to be someone you’re actually not?
5. You just don’t know where to start.
Suppose that you know who and where you want to be. Maybe, you’re much more aware of the consequences and the changes you have to prepare for. Maybe you found the courage to speak about your plans to your parents, and were able to convince them that you’re about to make the best decision for your life.
Now what?
Where do you actually start?
Listen to me, and trust me, this works.
Breathe, clear your head, and just do it.
You don’t have to articulate everything. Let your mind speak. Just do the first thing that pops in your head and then do the next right thing.
Remember, the journey is meant to challenge you so it’s going to be hard.
Otherwise, you’ll not grow at all.
